Stan's Chronicle
by ChocolateXFountain
Summary: The day Stan was going to confess his love for Kyle, was also the day he got trapped in Cartman's body. Being able to control Cartman's body was weird enough, but having Cartman to still be able to think, and taunt Stan, was definitely weirder. Warning: Style, slight Kyman, slight Stendy, slight Stary, Candy, Bunny, Dip and swearing. Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.
1. How it happened

Gotta Get Out

**Warning: Short chapter. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.**

_**Prologue: **_

_My name is Stan Marsh, the Chronicle writer of this diary of some sort. This will be based on the time, I realized my love for Kyle, and how I got stuck in Cartman's body and how I got back out. For those who read, i hope you enjoy this tale of grand adventures and love. _

**Chapter Title: How it happened.**

Love

An overrated feeling, thought to make your heart flutter with joy, and your brain to over load with thoughts of the person your heart desires. It's a feeling that makes your stomach filled with butterflies, or so they say.

My first love, Wendy Testaburger, did not make my stomach feel light, and embarrassed. She made me feel sick, and tired. And not 'love sick' either, just plain 'puke' sick.

My second love, unlike my first, was a guy. And to top it off, my super best friend. I have been with this guy through thick and thin, and we have seen the world as it really is, countless of times. You could say we are a perfect match, or so our friend, Cartman, thinks so.

He often calls us 'Gay' or 'Fuck buddies' probably because of our closeness, but Kyle has no idea of my love for him, and thinks Cartman says those things to taunt us, or to make us not hang around each other to stop rumors from spreading.

I've wondered a countless number of times if Kyle would feel the same for me. But the scenarios that I play in my mind always turns out to end badly, maybe because of the guilt building up inside me for liking another guy, and that guy happening to be my Super Best Friend.

And that's what my stomach feels like. It churns with guilt and builds every day, the more I see Kyle, the more the guilt builds.

"Hey hippie, were you even listening? You see, this is why I hate hippies" Cartman says, sighing and shaking his head and muttering stuff about hippies.

I guess I zoned out, I lick my dry lips. I could remember the taste, it was that mornings breakfast, pancakes with golden syrup.

"What do you want fatass?" I finally ask, much to Cartman's dismay, he leans back into his chair, and sighs. He had changed quite a lot since we were sixth graders, when he lost the hat and the jacket, and started to exercise.

While his arms and legs are ripped, he still has a slight bulge of where his old fat used to be. While he isn't as big as he used to be, we would still call him 'fatass' for old times sake, but he would ignores us.

He even started dating Wendy, strange, I know. Even Kenny thinks it was a fluke. This happened around the time when I first felt something for Kyle. I couldn't break it off with Wendy, never in my life have I done the dumping, she was always dumping me.

When Wendy realized I wasn't paying much attention to her anymore, she broke up with me, and soon dated Cartman. He often brought her to the bus stop with him, and made out with each other in front of me. When Cartman realized that I didn't care that he was kissing my ex, and saw that I often zoned out and stared at Kyle, he realized who I truly loved.

You would think he would go around, spreading the rumor. But he is much more evil then that, he used it for black-mail.

"Hey Stan, want to work with me?" I turned to face Kyle, who is smiling gleefully at me, which would have made my stomach churn.

"Sorry Jew-boy, but Stan's working with me" I looked to Cartman, who was also smiling, but it was much more crooked. "I'm what?" I asked, confused.

Cartman leaned in, and whispered. "Usually I work with Wendy, and get good grades, but she's working with that hoe, Bebe. Anyway, if I suddenly drop a grade, mum is going to get suspicious" I cocked an eye brow, unsure of where this is going.

"So you are going to be my partner instead, unless you want everyone to know your secret"

I gulped, unsure of how I wanted to answer, but my thoughts were interrupted by Kyle's heavenly voice.

"Stan, are you going to work with Cartman?" it sounded so sad, I glanced at him and saw his sad eyes, and his smile is now a frown. He thinks I'm betraying him!

"Huh? Oh um, just this once?" I ask, trying to put as much effort into my voice without croaking, and sounding sad myself. He nods his head, and looks over to Kenny, asking him to be his partner, who happily agrees.

Kenny kind of drifted from the group at that point, and started to hang out with Craig and those guys. He would still talk and sit with us, mostly at the bus stop, and is still my friend, even now. I can't speak for Cartman, though. Who is angry that we don't have a fourth friend.

"Well, that settles it then, come by my house after dinner"

~q~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The day went by quite fast, Kyle didn't talk to me until lunch, when he said that he 'forgives me'.

Cartman hanged out with Wendy, or more like, Wendy dragged him all over the place. And Kenny stole Kyle away, until Lunch.

Meanwhile, I was stuck with Gary, the Mormon who I met a while ago. When he first came to this school, he clung to me like dust clings to your television. (Bad example, I know)

Kyle became extremely jealous, as he thought Gary was going to steal me away from him. While I don't really like Gary, I kind of felt bad for him.

He soon became best friends with Butters, Pip and Damien. Who formed a gang of kids who nobody really likes. Sometimes, Kenny hangs out with them, but I never really asked myself why.

The bus ride home was quite boring, as Kyle said nothing. And the rest of the day was also boring. A quiet normal South Park day, or so I thought.

I made my way to Cartman's house, I saw Butters and Kenny along the way, the two were down by Starks pond, sitting by the shore lines, god knows what they were talking about as they watched the sun set.

When I knocked on the door, I heard Cartman's usual cries for his mum to answer door, when Liane (Sorry if it's the wrong spelling) answered the door, she broke out into a smile.

"Its been an awfully long time, hasn't it Stan?" she asked, as she moved out of the way for me to walk in.

I smiled, equally as big. It was true, I had not seen Cartman's mum since the seventh grade, and that's quite a feat for this small town, as seeing the same person over and over again was normal.

"It has been, Mrs. Cartman" I said as I stepped inside, a warm air greeting me. Cartman was on the couch, eating his cheezy poofs and watching T.V.

"Dude, let's do that homework" I said, as Mrs. Cartman disappeared into the kitchen and Cartman yawned. "Don't you mean, you're doing the homework?" he didn't take his eyes off of the screen, and munched on some more cheezy poofs.

"You have to help, or you will drop a grade" I insisted, but I wasn't going to get anywhere with him, he wasn't going to do work even if it killed him.

"Do I look like I care about my grades or my mum being suspicious?" he asked. I was taken back, at first, thinking why he would say something like that, when a few hours ago he said differently, but his next few words helped me understand why he lied.

"But you said earlier…" he laughed, and tiny bits of crunched up cheezy poofs came raining out. "Dude, I lied. I just wanted you to make Kyle sad, hahahaha" the next thing I remember was red. Red with anger.

I lunged at him, hands ready to strangle his neck, but he caught me instead, and did his most favorite move in fights, butting his forehead against an opponent's.

When he did, It hurt really bad, I can still remember the pain now, as I write this. The next thing I knew, everything went black.


	2. New body, New Name, New weight

Gotta go quickly

**Warning: Do you know what I am saying?**

**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.**

**Information: The 'Dream World' is where Stan will be able to meet Cartman himself, sometimes the dreams will get out of hand (Magical unicorns, narwhales or anything Stan dreams about) **

_**Prologue: **_

_My name is Stan Marsh, the Chronicle writer of this diary of some sort. This will be based on the time, I realized my love for Kyle, and how I got stuck in Cartman's body and how I got back out. For those who read, i hope you enjoy this tale of grand adventures. _

**Chapter Title: New body, New Name, New weight.**

Have you ever in your life time, bumped your head on something? Like maybe you were under your school desk, and you moved up and bumped your head on the bottom of the desk?

That moment of pain, usually goes away a few seconds later. For me, it was still there when I woke. I awoke in a strange place, I can remember how Mrs. Cartman was leaning over me and shook me so hard that I almost fell off of the couch. She was so worried, but it wasn't me who she was worrying about, it was her son, Eric Cartman.

When I opened my eyes, I saw her pained expression change into an expression of relief. At that time, I wish I had not woke as my head was still aching. And the fact that I felt heavier than usual.

"Oh thank god you're ok, honey" I remember her saddened voice. Maybe, at the time, she had wished I was dead, I mean, her son was dead, as he wasted a lot of her money on foolish things.

My hand made its way to my forehead, only to stop halfway once I realized what she had said. The word 'honey' rolled around in my head until I came to the conclusion that, that was Mrs. Cartman's new nickname for me.

Oh, how I had been wrong. My hand collapsed onto my forehead as I rubbed it and groaned out a "What happened?"

The sudden shock of the sound of my voice was awful. I swear, my heart skipped a beat. If it were a voice I had not recognized, I might have reached to the conclusion that I was sick and sounded different. But this was a voice I knew all to well, a voice i grew up with.

I kept testing my voice, which made Mrs. Cartman make a strange face at me, but I couldn't care less. I sounded like Eric Theodore Cartman.

And that's when it hit me, I was Eric Theodore Cartman. I looked down, to find a huge body and blue jacket, similar to the one Cartman wore as a kid. I had been wearing his shirt, his mum had called me honey, and worst of all, I had his voice.

I remember screaming out a "GAH" much like Tweeks, and the look on Mrs. Cartman's face? Priceless. I had checked my arms and legs, which were both ripped, and checked for that little bulge of where my stomach resided, that was there too.

I pushed Mrs. Cartman out of the way, and ran upstairs to the bathroom, screaming bloody murder.

When I ran up the stairs, I lost my breath quickly, in my old body, I had been an athletic football player, and had lots of energy to burn. In this body, while my legs were now ripped, I had little to no energy.

I slowed and opened the Bathroom door, panting and huffing, and looked into the mirror. Only to almost faint at what I had seen.

Now, I am not light-hearted and faint easily. But if you looked in the mirror and saw someone else, you would feel as if the need to faint was dire.

I played the pick-a-boo game with myself. The game you play with babies. You put your hand over your face, and pretend to hide, and move your hands out of the way and say "BOO". I was not saying "Boo" but I was hiding my face and revealing it. Perhaps I thought that if I kept doing that, my face would return to normal.

"Honey, are you ok?" Mrs. Cartman said, peering through the door way. I turned to her and yelled "I am not Cartman, I'm Stan!" she looked quite taken back by my sudden outburst, and that was when I first heard Cartman.

"_Ey! Would you keep it down, I'm trying to sleep ere" _

I screamed the loudest I have ever screamed before, and it did not sound pretty with Cartman's voice. I had heard _his _voice, was it my thoughts? No, because why would I feel the need to think about me sleeping. It had to be the real Eric, and it turned out to be that as well.

I guess Mrs. Cartman, or my mum, had enough, she grabbed me by the ear and locked me into my room. But I was still screaming and clutching my ears as the real Cartman continued to talk to me.

He was saying things like

"_Stupid Hippies, always overreacting" _or _"Shut up Stan, you goddamn hippie" _

Its strange to know that he had known all about this from the start, when he stopped talking, I stopped screaming. Instead of screaming, I cried. I cried until I fell into sleep.

**~Dream World~**

I was surrounded by white mist, with a dark eerie background for where the mist couldn't reach. This was my first time in the 'Dream World'

This was a magical place that I could visit if I had a dream, it's where I could be in my own body, and have my own voice. In some dreams, one particular one, I had died. It was horrible.

But since Cartman is also sleeping, in my mind I might add, we have to share the same dreams, and we can meet each other in the same dreams as well. Sometimes, we see other people. Like Kyle or Kenny, but they can't see us. Me and Cartman used to love just watching everyone's dreams like a movie, but some of them were more like p*rno's, the first dream p*rno we watched belonged to the one and only Kenny McCormick. No surprise there.

Anyway, when I opened my eyes, I was quite alarmed. I believe I, at one stage, thought I had died, and this was heaven.

I moved my head from side to side, my eyes still barely open. It was hard to stare at such a bright white. It was blinding.

But I could not scream,

I could not cry,

And I couldn't close even just one eye.

Poetic, I know, before I started to write this, I got into making poems and such. And not dark poems like when I was Raven. Just normal, poetic poems. Call me faggy if you wish, but poems are quite relaxing to make.

Anyway, the white faded and I was in a grassy field, fresh spring grass. I was under a big oak tree, which shaded me. I was laying on my back, arms behind my head. Humming a tune, with my eyes closed softly, it wasn't too cold, nor too hot. It was just…nice.

It took my mind off of things. I thought of the butterfly's, floating around aimlessly. I thought of the bunny's that walked past, nibbling on patches of grass. And when I looked up to the clear blue sky, I saw bubbles.

I was quite confused, at the time, bubbles were man-made things, how could they possibly be here unless someone else is also here.

I sat up, and looked to the direction of where the bubbles came, they were coming from behind a small hill, hiding whoever was behind it.

I stood, and noticed the golden sparkles, falling from the oak tree, they were falling closer to the stump of the tree, so none had landed on me whilst I was laying underneath the leaves.

I traced my finger against the soft bark of the oak tree as I walked around it, it was like a palm tree wood, soft and smooth. When I made it to the other side, I faced the hill, and noticed someone on the highest part.

He was looking down the other side of the hill, watching something. I tried to call out, but felt too tired at that moment to do so.

So I made my way towards him, climbing up the grassy hill, the first thing I realized is that I had most of my energy back. But most of it was lost to the fact that I was tired.

When I got closer, I realized it was Cartman, but he wasn't the one blowing the bubbles, someone from the other side was.

I sat next to him. If I recall my thoughts, they were 'We died, we died and this is heaven. Even Cartman went to heaven, who would have thought?'

I peered down at the bottom of the hill, and found Butters and Kenny, the two side by side, blowing bubbles that went into the air and flew past us.

Cartman turned to me and said "You must be pretty confused" I simply nodded my head, continuing to watch Butters and Kenny blow bubbles.

"You see, I created a microchip, and placed it into my brain. It allowed me to view others dreams, I call this place, the 'Dream World'"

I could only stare down at my hands, my breath slowing, my skin paling. The blue sky slowly fading, as was the grass. Butters and Kenny disappeared, and I looked up at Cartman, who was now standing.

"What's happening?" I managed to ask, my lips trembling, as were my hands "Butters dream ended, so we're going back, he probably waked up in the middle of the night cause he pissed his pants" he began to laugh "What a faggy kid"

I watched as Cartman's legs soon faded, I stood as well, or more like floated, because my legs weren't there anymore.

"So I'm going back to the real world…as you?" I asked, closing my eyes and waiting for his response. He paused for a few seconds before answering "Yes, I'll explain everything to you later, when you wake up, get into bed and sleep, we might meet again. Only if you have another dream"

I nodded my head and yawned. And the grassy plain was over lapped by whiteness.

**~Dream world end~**

I awoke, huddled on the floor. I got up, got dressed into something more loose, and went to bed.


	3. Livin' a dream

Gotta go swiftly

**Warning: Swearing**

**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.**

_**Prologue: **_

_My name is Stan Marsh, the Chronicle writer of this diary of some sort. This will be based on the time, I realized my love for Kyle, and how I got stuck in Cartman's body and how I got back out. For those who read, i hope you enjoy this tale of grand adventures. _

**A/N: Sorry guys, I haven't been clear about the reason why I made this. It is because it is very easy to write. I love these sorts of things, Chronicles are just awesome (Blame 'The Company of Fools' for making me love to write in this kind of way, it's a good book, check it out!) Now you know why I am making this (Because the chapters will be easy to write and I will probably finish this story before I will update Divided, because writer block) **

**Chapter Title: Livin' a dream**

To be fair, it was quite fun being Cartman. At least at morning time. His mother would cook every kind of breakfast meal, ranging from pancakes, to bacon and eggs on toast. Whatever I wanted, I got.

I will admit, I kind of felt guilty, even now I feel as if I took advantage of my new mother, and whenever I offered to help her out, she would decline. But with my guilty conscience aside, I must say, she was quite the whore. Bringing home men all the time, even Mr. Mackey once, who has long since quit working at the elementary school.

The first morning I had as Cartman, was quite horrific. Maybe I had thought that the night before was all a bad dream, and now I was myself again. I wasn't, if you wanted to know.

I awoke, groaning, my head was aching and my stomach was growling, not to mention the fact that I woke up in a puddle of my own puke. Luckily I was sleeping on my side and didn't choke on it.

My mum was sighing, as I had gave her more work to do. I was shivering, the puke was cold, the heater was off, and the window was open, possibly to get the smell out.

My new mother did not hesitate in undressing me and throwing me into the shower, or more like pushed, but you know what I mean. My face was really red, I got a quick look into the mirror as my new mother pushed my body, naked I must add, through the hall way and into the bathroom.

My face was redder then Rudolph's nose. And if I recall, I turned the cold tap instead of the hot one, giving my half-asleep state a surprise.

After many attempts at cleaning the smell of the puke out of my hair, and dropping the soap. I finally managed to clean myself up. I like to wonder to myself, if I was even freaking out about being Cartman at that point, but I guess I wasn't, because I acted normally, until I got to school, that is.

So I got dressed, and headed down the stairs. Or more like fell down the stairs, which did not help with my head-ache. I slumped into one of the chairs, the smell of bacon lifting my spirits, if only a tiny bit.

"Here you go sweetie" my new mother said as she placed a plate with bacon and eggs toastie and a glass of orange juice. I mumbled a thanks, and chowed down on the toast and gulped every last drop of orange juice.

She handed me my bag, and put some money in it for 'just in case emergencies' which I'm sure the normal Cartman would have spent on ice cream or something. The normal Cartman didn't talk to me until I was out the door and into the streets.

He yawned, as he had just woke up, and let out a huge sigh, right in my brain. The feeling was strange, horrible I might add, it's like hearing sounds that aren't actually there. Instead of going through your ears and into your brain, they start off in your brain. It would be like, if you moved your head, even just a tiny bit, your brain would flop, and you would hear it flop. Disgusting, I know.

"_This is going to be interesting" _His laugh echoed through my brain making my eyes water, "Stop talking!" I yelled out, getting some stares from passer by's. Not that I could care, my brain was _speaking_ to me.

"_Don't get your panties in a twist, hippie fag, do you want help, or not?" _The only thing I could do is grit my teeth as Cartman's loud voice boomed through my head.

"Sure, what do I have to do?" I can't remember his exact words, it was something along the lines of "find your own body, and then get the chip from your brain" when he first explained it, I only got the first part. 'Find my body' I told myself, in my head, which Cartman somehow heard.

"_Yes, find your body" _he said sarcastically to me, which made me stop in my tracks "Wait… You can hear my thoughts?" this made him laugh, and made myself remind myself to never make him laugh, as it was quite loud.

"_Duh, I AM your thoughts, hahaha, stupid gay hippies" _I sighed, and continued walking.

We made it too the bus stop, with Kenny being the first there like always. I walked past him, and stood next to him. In which, he turned to me and said "That's Stan's spot" In all my years have I never felt so furious and so embarrassed at the same time. I could have cried at that point, but instead I replied a 'sorry' and moved over two spaces.

"_Bohm Bohm! Fail, you were supposed to say 'Shut up poor boy, I can stand where I want" _Cartman said in a matter-of-fact tone. He was acting like one of those judges on the t.v shows about contestants winning by answering questions correctly.

Kenny raised an eye brow, but didn't say anything.

'Crap, what if he starts to get suspicious?' I thought to Cartman, hoping for some help.

"_Suspicious of what? You acting differently? It's not like he will think you're an imposter" _The only thing I was glad about was that Cartman didn't laugh.

I caught, in the corner of my eye, a green ushanker. I turned to Kyle, who seemed depressed over something. Even though, before I decided to write this chronicle, Kyle lost the hat. He still wore it back then, in fact, he changed it because of me (Or Cartman, but basically me)

"What's wrong Kyle?" I asked, before covering my mouth. He looked up at me, raising an eye brow at my kindness, because if you haven't guessed yet, Kyle and Cartman hate each other.

"What's it matter to you?" he finally asked, "And why are you here before me and Stan? You are usually the last one to arrive"

I heard Cartman 'Tch' before muttering _"Typical Jew, always asking foolish questions." _I rolled my eyes at Cartman's remark, but I guess Kyle took that as an answer because he huffed and crossed his arms.

"Where is Stan anyway?" I heard Kenny ask, making me gulp. Even the real Cartman tensed, before saying _"Suggest that he might be sick or something" _I nodded my head, and turned to Kenny.

"He might be sick" I said in my best Cartman voice, before adding "Stupid Hippie" Kenny gave me a 'you are strange' look before shrugging his shoulders.

I turned to look at the road, my forehead and palms becoming sweaty even in this weather. The silence was driving me insane. Until I finally gave up.

"Uh, Screw the bus, I'm walking" I didn't even have time to look at the expressions on Kyle and Kenny's faces, but I bet that if i had, it would be priceless.


	4. Candy or Stendy? That is the question

**Warning: Swearing, OOC Wendy and Cartman, but its how I roll.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own South Park.**

_**Prologue: **_

_My name is Stan Marsh, the Chronicle writer of this diary of some sort. This will be based on the time, I realized my love for Kyle, and how I got stuck in Cartman's body and how I got back out. For those who read, i hope you enjoy this tale of grand adventures. _

**A/N: Woop, I can't stop writing. Anyway, I hope this will be the last chapter for a while, and I can finally make chapters for Divided, Revenge and One-shots. Maybe even Hitchhiking Adventures if I'm lucky, or TGITFH (Don't get your hopes up 21 fans plus 2 guests) **

**Question: I have a sudden attraction for Kyman (KILLMENOW) and I've liked Stary for a while, so should this be a Kyman, Stary, Creek, Dip, Bunny fic? Or a Style, Creek, Dip, Bunny fic?**

**Chapter title: Candy or Stendy? That is the question**

As I raced down the path, and towards the school, I had Cartman's laugh follow me. I balled my fists and hitched my breath as I was losing energy fast. 'Dammit, why does Cartman have no energy?'

"_Eh! Shut up hippie!" _I covered my mouth, to stop myself from laughing, I had actually thought that! This was the time I told myself to try and not to think.

That day was quite cold, I was practically freezing, I crossed my arms to try and warm my body, but it failed. As I write this, I imagine Tweek, the twitchy guy who can't button his own shirt, walking to school every day wearing practically nothing.

Poor guy, the moment Kenny started hanging out with Craig and those guys, Tweek was forgotten, and Cartman was quite happy when Tweek hanged out with us like old times. 'Having a fourth friend is necessary, a hippie fag like you would never understand' he once told me, but I wasn't complaining, Tweek was a cool guy. Sort of.

Even though Tweek was smiling with us, his smile felt fake, and sometimes, I would catch him staring at Craig and those guys with a distant kind of look. But he has long since stopped hanging out with us, he now hangs around Butters, Pip, Damien and Gary.

I neared the school, and of course, I ran into Wendy. She was standing by herself, hands behind her back as she hummed a tune. 'Beautiful as ever'

I cursed, I already broke the rule of not thinking. _"Who? Kyle? What a fag" _Luckily, he thought I was thinking about Kyle instead of Wendy.

I'm sure I've mentioned it before, but Cartman and Wendy are dating. And I'm Cartman right now. I tried to hide, but it was no use, this body was much too big.

"Eriiiiiiiic!" she yelled as she ran across the school yard and hugged me. I must admit, it felt natural to have her in my arms, as I have dated her before.

"Hey Wends" I gulped, I had used my old nickname for her. The one STAN used. She looked up at me, biting the bottom of her lip.

"_Dude…" _It sounded as if Cartman wanted to beat the shit out of me when he said that, it was his tone of voice that made me shudder.

"Um" she said as she unwrapped her arms and stood back a little, she was frowning and staring at the ground. At the time, I felt like dying, I had to come up with a come-back.

"I mean, ho" I tried to laugh, but I could barely choke out those last three words. I could practically hear Cartman face palming.

'Cartman, help' I pleaded in my thoughts, which sounded quite strange, but at the time, I had no choice.

"_I hate to say it, but you might have to kiss her. Is she staring at the ground?" _He asked, as he let out a groan. 'Kiss her? And yeah, how did you know?'

"_Look, retard, I was a much better boyfriend than you were, so let me explain something to you, when she looks down at the ground, she's upset, and she wants you to kiss her" _

I scratched the back of my head, as Wendy put her hands behind her back, still looking at the ground, and swaying side to side. She had put ear phones in and must have been listening to music.

'How could you have been a better boyfriend?' I know, I sounded jealous that I had never figured that out, and when I think back to when me and Wendy dated, she did do that a lot, and I had never kissed her.

"_Because I'm not a gay hippie who only looks at Kyle" _all I could do was huff, as he did have a point, and cup Wendy's chin in my hand and bring her face up to mine. Having her lips, grape flavored like always, to mine was making memories flush back to me. It almost made me want to have her back. Almost.

We stayed like this until we heard a coughing noise. We broke apart and saw Gary.

"_Who is it now?" _Cartman seethed, 'Gary' I said in my mind. 'The blond looks pretty nice with the sun angled like that' I brought my hands to my ears, and acted as if I were dying as Cartman boomed with laughter.

"Eric, are you ok?" I shook my head as I fell to my knees, hearing Cartman trying to speak while he laughed. I could not make out what he was saying.

"I'm sorry to bother you but, is this a bad time?" Gary asked, and Wendy slapped me over the head, probably thinking I was acting like this because Gary had appeared.

I stood, trying to ignore Cartman's loud laughter, and shook my head. "This isn't a bad time" I mumbled, he smiled and said "Do you by chance know where Stan is? Being his friend and all"

I shook my head. "He uh, wasn't at the bus stop before" All I could think of was why he wanted to know where I was.

"_Aww, does Gary want to know where you are?" _Cartman said sarcastically. I could only frown.

"Well, thank you Eric" He started to walk off, but before I could let him, I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around "Why do want to know anyway?" I asked.

He licked his lips. "I wanted to ask him something" I nodded my head, and let go. He walked off to Pip, Tweek and Butters and the four headed into the school.

I felt Wendy tug on my sleeves, and got a big kiss on the cheek. I put my hand over my cheek and turned to her.

"What was that for?" I asked smiling. She smiled back, "For not being mean, my work is paying off"

"_Tch, stupid hippie"_ Cartman mumbled, I could just see him crossing his arms like a child. She took my hand and led me into the school.

We walked through the corridor, hand in hand, until we reached Red and Bebe. They were both smiling like idiots. "Guess what, Wendy" Red said, Wendy shrugged, "What is it?"

"Bebe like's Kyle" I flinched, the feeling of my stomach churning was back, "He has such a hot ass" Bebe said dreamily, as she clutched her books to her chest. 'That's one thing I can agree on' I thought to Cartman, just to make him laugh. Just so I could focus on something other than the pain in my tummy, just to make the guilt go away. But even Cartman's laughter couldn't do anything to help.

"Oh! That's great, right Eric?" Wendy nudged me. I gulped, I couldn't even believe what I was about to say, but I had said it. "He's just a stupid Jew"

Wendy whacked me, "Don't listen to him, hahah" Red shrugged her shoulders "I don't know why you even date h- Oh look Bebe, its Kyle!" she pointed down the corridor.

I followed her finger, and saw Kyle walking all alone. I guess Kenny ditched him. "Kyle, over here!" Red waved to him, he looked up and saw us, and as he neared, I felt like tackling him to the ground so he couldn't hear Bebe's confession.

"What's up?" he eyed me wearily, making my stomach feel worse, Kyle had never looked at me like that. 'He thinks your Cartman, he thinks you're Cartman' I said over and over, but Cartman stayed silent.

"Bebe wanted to ask you something" Red jumped for joy, as she clasped her hands together, smiling. Kyle looked at Bebe, he bit his bottom lip.

"Kyle, do you want to go out with me" At those words, I couldn't handle standing here, I let go of Wendy and walked off, gritting my teeth, tears threatening to fall.

"_Poor, poor, Stan" _Cartman said like a wise man. "Cartman?" I heard Wendy call, but I ignored her. I made my way to the boy toilets and opened the door, slamming it behind me loudly. Luckily, no one was in, I had the place to myself.

'Cartman, I want to be me, to be Stan, right now!' I yelled in my thoughts to show how angry I was, Cartman stayed quiet until finally sighing.

"_You can't, not for now anyway." _By this time, tears were falling, I made no mistake to sniff or to hint that I was crying, or I wouldn't hear the end of it from Cartman.

I made my way to the sink, and washed my face, and just my luck, someone walked in. It was Tweek, his face was red, his eyes puffy from crying. He stopped in his tracks when he saw me.

"_Did I hear a door open? Who's there?" _I ignored Cartman, but still answered his question.

"You ok, Tweek" he twitched, and looked down at his feet, shaking his head.

"_Tweek? What the fuck happened?" _I moved closer to Tweek, continuing to ignore Cartman's rants. "I...I…" He sniffed, before running past me and into one of the stalls. He slammed the door shut before locking it.

"_Stan, I'm serious, what the hell is going on?" _I shook my head 'Tweek's been crying, he just locked himself into a stall' I heard Cartman grunt, before telling me that the bell was about to go, and at the time, I was quite surprised and constantly wondered how he got it right.

_I remember the sound of laughing, coming towards the door of the bathroom. It was a horrible sound, it was like a bunch of masculine witches with all different kinds of croaky voices were laughing. _

_In Cartman's body, I felt safe, due to his size. But if I were in my normal body, I would have hidden myself, I turned to one of the sinks and pretended to wash my hands. Clyde, Kenny, Craig and Token walked in, their laughs bouncing around the room and off the walls._

_"He cried, can you believe it?" Kenny said, leaning on the wall and pulling a cigarette and lighting it. "Yeah, he's a stupid fucking queer" Clyde said, smiling. Craig walked past both of them and stood by the sink next to mine. I turned to him, as he washed his hands. "What happened?" _

Clyde quickly made his way to Craig's side, probably to seem more menacing, to tell me that I shouldn't try anything funny. "Tweek, that twitching retard, asked me out, fucking queer" I heard Tweek from the stall hiccup, but the others didn't notice.

"He…asked you out?" I felt all eyes on me, I looked to Kenny, he was waiting for me to seem different, to know what I'm an imposter._ 'What would you say, Eric?' I asked, _

_"Say 'What a fucking queer', but I'm guessing you don't want to hurt Tweek's feelings"_ I sighed, as Cartman was right. I didn't want to hurt Tweek, so I helped him instead "He asked you out, and you were a fucking dick to him?"

I heard Cartman let out a sigh "I swear, if you wreck my beautiful body in a fight.."

Craig glared angrily, but said nothing. He turned to his friends "Lets go guys, bell went five minutes ago" the guys walked after him, but not before Kenny turned to me as the others left and said "I have no idea who you are, but you better watch your back" and with that he left.

I sighed, as did Cartman, I turned to Tweek's stall, and saw the door creek open just a tiny bit. I smiled reassuringly at him, and I saw a small smile form on his face. "Let's go to class Tweek" I said, jerking my thumb at the door. His smile faded and he shook his head.

"Why not?" I asked, I can remember his eyes like it was yesterday, the normal bright green eyes were dark, and clouded. "C-Craig –ngh- showed m-my letter to" he sniffed, opening the stall door fully. "Everyone…" we stayed quiet for a few seconds.

"So what? If they laugh or tease, I'll beat 'em up for you" this was my gay side talking, and now that I was someone as strong as Cartman, I could do anything.

_"Dude, you are so fucking gay" _


End file.
